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02 November 2007 @ 09:32 pm
[here in darkness, water the lips of death]
sam/dean, sam/ruby
rated r
435 words

notes: for fated_addiction.

[here in darkness, water the lips of death]

Dean’s fingers are rough, bruising, and Sam counts two, three, four… waits for them to tighten around his neck, waits for Dean to take the life from him. He waits and it’s just uncomfortable, a little painful, no end in sight.

“You stupid son of bitch,” he hisses, hand around Sam’s throat. Sam could stop him, push him off, fight back or something, but he wants Dean to hurt him. Punish him – he deserves it. five, six, seven

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispers through tight lips, tears pricking his eyes, and Dean’s hand tightens a little.

“She’s not a woman, Sam,” he says. “Jesus Christ. She’s a – it’s a goddamn demon.”

Sam doesn’t say anything else, can’t, doesn’t know what to say beyond I’m sorry. He can’t fix it now, since it’s too late; demon or not, still a human body, still laws against fixing things like this so late in the game.

The door latches and Dean turns to look without letting off of Sam’s throat.

“Don’t stop on my account,” she says smiling, belly swollen and mocking, pushing in their face everything this shouldn’t be. Dean’s hand squeezes a little tighter and Sam has to gasp for a breath.

eight, nine, ten.

Dean fucks him face down in the mattress. He can’t look Sam in the face anymore. Fucking a demon, impregnating the body it inhabits; unforgivable in Dean’s book. He fucks Sam too rough, brutal and punishing pace, almost more painful than good, and Sam squeezes out breaths with his face in the pillow.

“What have you done?” Dean whispers, thrusting too hard, hands tight on Sam’s hips. His fingers will leave bruises in the morning.

At Bobby’s it’s all silence. Maybe it’s coincidence that the power’s gone out. Maybe it isn’t. No one talks about it; too many possibilities. She’s sweating in the room at the back of the house, and the orange glow from the candles makes the sweat on her body glisten.

Things crash off the shelves. Books, dishes, holy items. Sam waits outside the room, Bobby inside, and Dean doesn’t look at him or speak from across the room.

The windows rattle when she screams, long and painful, loud and murderous.

Dean stares at the floor, Sam at the doorway. The screaming goes on for hours.

He’s a tiny thing, wrapped in old blankets. His eyes are small and dark, darker than hers, darker than Sam’s, and still something in between theirs. Ten fingers. Ten toes. And it doesn’t mean a thing.

Sam names him David in hopes of Salvation.

Bobby wipes the blood from his hands and arms.

batgurl10batgurl10 on November 3rd, 2007 01:58 am (UTC)
Wow! very intense--I lurve how brutal and upset dean is, yet he cant stop being with sam.
and david...yeah cuz that worked out so well in the end.
Very cool, great job.
bury me in memory: juiceboxephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 02:05 am (UTC)
thanks. it's totally unbeta'd so i apologize for any suckness. (i invented that word, yes)
questioning in order to create: grandpa tigertigriswolf on November 3rd, 2007 02:09 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. Awesome.
nit(ya): brighter than sunshine; ascendioasweetdownfall on November 3rd, 2007 02:09 am (UTC)

God, Ashley. This was mindblowing.
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 02:45 am (UTC)

dude. i was SURE it sucked.

i love you. thank you so much.
nit(ya): singing in the rain; jackshoegazerasweetdownfall on November 3rd, 2007 03:21 am (UTC)
Psh everything you write is brilliant. Amazing. :D

No problem. ♥
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 03:44 am (UTC)
all kinds of love for you, babe ♥
where all the scars from the nevers and maybes die: roadjiangyin on November 3rd, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
You got it right when you said it's dark. But this is really fucking good. :)

- Ez
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 02:44 am (UTC)
*relieved exhale* when YOU say it's really fucking good, i know it is.

thanks, babe.
where all the scars from the nevers and maybes die: butterflyjiangyin on November 3rd, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)
You're very welcome. :)

- Ez
c.: femme fatale: smilefated_addiction on November 3rd, 2007 03:10 am (UTC)

Well, oh my. My favorite thing about your writing is how unapologetic and clear it is. It rips me to shreds. And I love every second of it. But I love the continuous nature of this sam to ruby and then sam to dean, how they're intersecting even though, really, he's tried not to.

And the baby, and David, and the fact that sam is still sam and there's still an uneasy hope.

bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)

there are just some stories that i write, and you totally INSPIRE it - this is one of those times. you have the type of writing that makes me FEEL it, so when i write something i can FEEL and i can make other people feel, it's just RIGHT that i dedicate it to you. you taught me how to do that.

when i write more to this, because there will be, the whole verse is going to be inspired by, and dedicated to you. i have such an incredible respect and adoration for your writing, and when i can write something even half as good, you deserve some recognition for getting me there.

so much love for you, babe.
c.: a bad girl front runner with a smilefated_addiction on November 3rd, 2007 03:32 am (UTC)
Oh, my god, sweetie!

*laughs* It's like our own little lovefest. ♥ I'm just happy that you enjoy reading what I write. And it's much more of an honor for me to know that I inspire you.

You and your lovely, lovely self.

Love you again. ♥
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 03:43 am (UTC)
love you right back, sweets.

and feel free to play with this idea, with david, if you so choose. i'm sure you could do wonderful things with it.

i'm actually working on something totally different now, based on few lines from an e.e. cummings poem (because that man will never stop amazing me).
not creepy, just a person w eyes: Rubyarabella_hope on November 3rd, 2007 04:53 am (UTC)
OOO, this is dark and wrong and oh so wonderful! Love it, you captured the creepy aspect of it all so very well. I especially liked the very last line.
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 05:08 am (UTC)
thank you, baby!
call me crazy one more time.super_six_one on November 3rd, 2007 05:48 am (UTC)
Goddamn. Here I was thinking I was the only one who had an idea like this. [serious. just like this]

Doesn't make me like it any less. I love it! :)
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC)
thank you.
(Deleted comment)
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
thank you.
the pound sign is silent: sleeping on mac the knifevinylroad on November 3rd, 2007 05:08 pm (UTC)

So dark. Of course, I love it. This really works - I only tend to like Ruby/Sam that's dark, mainly because that's the only way I see a "relationship" between the two of them. To me, it's inherently dark and I think you captured that here so well.
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 3rd, 2007 05:50 pm (UTC)
thank you so much.

i agree with you; the only way they could ever have a "relationship" is if it's dark. there just...isn't any other way.
sparkly fairy princess of the sadness: [spn] moon is red and you're dancingelohvee on November 18th, 2007 04:36 am (UTC)
Sam names him David in hopes of Salvation.

Bobby wipes the blood from his hands and arms.

This ending is so perfect I don't even know what to say. GOD, you are so awesome.
bury me in memoryephemerall on November 18th, 2007 03:37 pm (UTC)
jeeze, way to make me blush *nervous laugh*

thank you; i take the fact that you like it as a huge compliment coming from you (because you're such an amazing writer).